5 Signs You’re the Problem in a Relationship

5 Signs You’re the Problem in a Relationship

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There’s an old saying that goes, “If you meet one jerk in a day, that’s just bad luck. If you meet two in a day, that’s a coincidence. But if you meet three of them in a day, you’re the jerk.”

This adage contains an important lesson. If you’re having problems in your relationship for a short time, that may just be bad luck. But if the problems persist for too long, perhaps it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror. Maybe you are the problem.

 1. Say What? 

What do you do when your partner converses with you, especially about some disturbing or noteworthy subject? Do you tune out, or check your telephone (either obviously or secretively), attempt to change the subject to something progressively agreeable, or do you hinder and express your own assessment before they can wrap up? 

This is especially evident with regards to contradictions or contentions, when it is hard to listen persistently without shielding yourself. However, it is similarly as significant – maybe increasingly significant, even – in standard, regular correspondence. 

On the off chance that your partner doesn't have a sense of security discussing what's happening in their life and their heart, at that point the sentiments they aren't communicating during easygoing, ordinary discussion are probably going to develop weight until they burst out during a major battle. That is bad for your relationship. So attempt to work in approaches to discuss better with your accomplice. 

In the event that you experience difficulty staying silent while they talk, at that point get a clock and alternate talking. Tuning in to one another takes practice. 

2. Attempting To Change Them 

Do you adore your partner in the manner in which they are, or do you wish they were extraordinary? Do you wish they were more settled, or more intelligent, or more slender, or more extravagant? Do you wish they worked more earnestly, spent less, drank less, smoked less pot, drove all the more cautiously? 

It's ordinary and regular to at times be aggravated by certain characteristics of your accomplice or life partner – that is a piece of the human experience. Be that as it may, a solid, stable love relationship depends on tolerating the other individual as they seem to be. In the event that you've gotten into an association with somebody you see as a "fixer upper," at that point you are repairing yourself for inescapable dissatisfaction. 

When you're driving, do you blow up at what each other driver is doing, regardless of whether they're going slower than you or quicker than you? Do you feel like traffic would work much better on the off chance that you were in control and everybody did what you believe is ideal? 

That is not an equation for cheerful, quiet driving. It's a frame of mind that prompts dissatisfaction and street rage. Why? Since regardless of whether it were valid that you're an exceptional virtuoso and the lanes and expressways would work better on the off chance that you controlled each vehicle on them (don't stress, it isn't valid), you can't control those different drivers. You can't cause them to do what you need. 

Neither would you be able to control your accomplice and change their conduct. Gracious, you have some slight control, and you can impart your desires and your needs. Be that as it may, you truly have control – and even that is restricted power – over yourself. So in the event that you consume a ton of vitality attempting to change your accomplice, regardless of whether it's bothering them to land another position, or encouraging them to get to the exercise center, or notwithstanding revealing to them why they shouldn't be tragic or shouldn't be furious, at that point you aren't helping your relationship. 

3. Improper Anger 

On the off chance that you have an issue with your temper, regardless of whether your outrage feels legitimized, that is something to truly investigate. Upright outrage feels ground-breaking, and a few people fuel their lives with it, regardless of whether it has to do with governmental issues or in relational connections. Be that as it may, it is exceptionally harming to others around you, especially in your family and your sentimental connections. Search for progressively solid approaches to express your resentment. 

4. Confusing Sex With Intimacy 

This is an extremely regular issue, and is identified with interchanges and closeness as talked about above. Sex isn't a certification of closeness. Or maybe it is at times a hindrance to closeness. Such a large number of individuals think – "We're having a lot of sex, so everything's extraordinary." But that is somewhat languid. Closeness takes work and correspondence. Simply checking a container – "we engaged in sexual relations" – isn't sufficient. 

5. Inability To Dream 

This can mean an inability to dream independently for yourself, or as a team, or both. In addition to the fact that you need individual dreams, both of all shapes and sizes, yet you additionally need dreams as a team. Individual dreams can incorporate anything enormous or little that has to do with you and your life – getting a raise, eating at another eatery on your mid-day break, returning to class and getting a degree, an occasion in Italy. 

What's more, your fantasies as a team could incorporate things like purchasing a home, having youngsters, painting the lounge area, taking an occasion together. 

What your fantasies are isn't almost so significant as having them. On the off chance that you have dreams as an individual, you will appear at your relationship as a superior accomplice. At that point you can work and discussion together about your fantasies as a team. On the off chance that you don't have dreams, at that point you will in general drag your relationship somewhere around your very own inactivity.